don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize