I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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