Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
