He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
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And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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