omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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