the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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