maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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