you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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