Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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