I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize