We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
honey bunches of taint.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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