Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
