shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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