I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
