is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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