So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
sex in a hospital.. check
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
