Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
