Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
