your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
