hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
