Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do vagina's smell?
this will be a night to untag.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize