it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
