We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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