Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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