I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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