wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize