all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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