I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
