I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
