Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
