do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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