I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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