have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
