Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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