No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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