just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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