i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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