U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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