guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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