Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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