I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize