i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You pole danced in your parka.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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