Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize