I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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