Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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