im having a threesome with these popsicles
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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