I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
