you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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