when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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