if i can run in heels then i can drive
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
