we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
