I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
