The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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