We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
