remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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