she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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