I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
