Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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