How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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