im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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