hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
