I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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