so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
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I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
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My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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