The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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