he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
